"Welcome to Senior Dating - the site I created to help Seniors
find Love and Companionship on the Internet - the right way! You’ll find
reviews of the best senior dating sites as well as tips and advice to help you get the most from your dating experience and enhance your life!" Kathy Damer, Editor.

Senior Dating Mistakes to Avoid

senior couple with bicycles

If it's your first time on a senior dating site and you suddenly see a selection of attractive looking, smiling senior singles in your area, all wanting to meet someone, you could find the experience quite intoxicating!

The danger here is that you can become addicted and spend all your time online while neglecting other areas of your life. Keep one foot in the real world and don't rule out traditional dating either. Give yourself a time limit to spend online each day (or every couple of days) and stick to it because minutes will quickly turn into hours and your day can easily be lost.

This is what one senior dater said to me: "When I first joined a dating site and starting communicating with some of the members, I got so wrapped up in it that I didn't even hear the phone ring! It had been my sister calling and she was quite worried that I hadn't answered."

My advice to her was to set the kitchen timer in future so that she knows when it is time to shut off the computer. If you have a time parameter for being online, you will not overlook the other important things in your life. You can also let your dating site friends know what time you will be online, so they can be online at the same time too. This also shows them that you have an interesting life beyond the computer. Nothing is more intriguing than someone who has many interests to fill their hours.

Ok, you're thinking, job done. I've signed up to my senior dating site, now all I have to do is sit back, relax and wait….and wait…and wait.. The truth is that's all you'll be doing if you don't grab the bull by the horns and initiate a few contacts. Yes, it's very important to be proactive, women in particular.

And I know I sound like a broken record but I can't stress enough the importance of being positive in your contacts. In your initial emails, stick to the present and the future. Don't talk about anything unhappy in your dim and distant past, especially failed romances, illness, financial woes, and strong opinions about religion and politics.

If you feel that there's something vitally important for the other person to know, but it might put them off, then drip-feed them the information. By the time the whole story is out in the open they will probably have grown close enough to you that they will see it as no big deal.

You must remember to ask questions that are important to you during your initial email contact — but do not come across as overly nosey or pushy. This can be a big turn-off. And no matter how great someone seems, never be anxious to call or meet someone too soon. Let the anonymity of the internet and the dating site you have joined, allow you the time to really get to know someone before taking such a huge step.


What's the rush anyway? Taking it slow can be a really enjoyable way to build the relationship. If you enter this territory too soon you may just find that this person was totally wrong for you and oops, they now have your home phone number and won't leave you alone! Likewise, you should probably see it as a warning sign if someone is too anxious or pushy about meeting you. This could mean you will end up with a stalker, or a scammer or just someone who is overly needy. Trust me — none of these things are what you are looking for at this stage in your life.

We've all tweaked the truth just a little now and then – it's human nature – and it would be unrealistic to think people didn't do it online to enhance their prospects. But taking your time and being a bit of a detective before meeting up will increase your chances of spotting a liar.

Have a good read of their profile and look for any obvious inconsistencies. For example, they may describe themselves as a fun-loving night owl; so how come they ask you never to call them after 6pm? If you don't trust someone, don't be afraid to be a little challenging. Genuine people will, on the whole, understand you being a little cautious and won't be bothered by it.

Another faux pas to make is sending mail to the wrong person, which can be embarrassing! If you have several prospects going on simultaneously (and most people do) keep a careful record of them, and never go online if you're very tired or have had a little too much to drink!

Last but most important – don't be shy! You may think that the person you like best is way out of your league but how will you know unless you go for it and see! After all, in the world of Senior Dating, my motto is "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Who knows? You could soon be laughing together over a steamy cappuccino.

4 Responses to “Senior Dating Mistakes to Avoid”

  1.  Len says:

    Thanks 4 the tips, it puts that negative man inside me, in his place and now i feel more at ease.

    Posted on 22-Apr-10 at 3:22 pm | Permalink
  2.  Ann says:

    Great site. I wish I would have seen this before wasting 5 months waiting for men to contact me. The site I'm on has an option to send a 'flirt' and you don't pick out the one you want. I rather get a more personal message and even when I say so on my profile men still send those generic flirts, which I delete before reading since I figure they didn't read my profile all the way. Anyway, I will have to venture out more and learn to 'flirt' just a little since I haven't had as many responses as I'd like. My picture is great and my profile is honest and sincere, I have just been sitting around 'waiting' and not even responding to fella's that I feel aren't my cup of tea. Well, some aren't, lol. But thanks for all your advice, you're a smart cookie and you make me feel more daring and respectable. One more thing, men shouldn't have the words, Fun, Cool, Sexy, on their profile names, it's a turn off to me anyway. 🙂

    Posted on 21-Apr-13 at 7:50 pm | Permalink
  3.  conrad dillman says:

    Have been thinking of joining a dating website but have no idea on what I should use as a profile name. I'm a 71 year old male.

    Posted on 18-May-16 at 7:41 am | Permalink
  4.  Karen King says:

    It seems like every guy I meet online is just looking for sex even when I have made it clear I want to go slowly. Some seem to expect it on the first or second date and I hear that they have no trouble getting it. Recently I was very interested in a man and thought he felt the same. Things were going great. Being a man, he got a little touchy-feely, and I would stop it and say I needed more time. After the fourth day when I didn't do it, I never heard another word from him. Is this the new world? Should I have relented after 4 dates? It's not like I wasn't very attracted to him.

    Posted on 31-May-16 at 12:06 am | Permalink

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About This Site

Kathy Damer studied Sociology at University and has worked as a marketing executive in the Retirement and Senior care industries for many years. Kathy has a deep understanding of the issues unique to senior dating and relationships and has been featured on the radio.

Kathy founded senior-dating.org as a way to provide free advice and resources for anyone looking to enter the world of senior dating. Please feel free to send Kathy your questions, comments and suggestions for topics that you would like to see covered.

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