Many people in their senior years can find themselves alone for all kinds of reasons. I meet people all the time who are on their own through divorce, or perhaps through the loss of a spouse, or simply because they’re still searching for ‘the one’, having tried several others along the way. You might find the idea of Senior Dating a little bit daunting, but don’t let it be. You have so much going for you and the rewards can be wonderful!
Unlike your younger counterparts, you have plenty of life experience to draw upon and you have a much clearer idea of what you’re looking for in a partner. You’ve met far more people; probably travelled a fair bit; had various jobs, previous relationships and have probably been in some interesting situations. All of this adds up to you being fascinating company and a much shrewder judge of character than you were in your younger days. Because of this, your chances of senior dating success are extremely high and in many ways, it’s much easier than when you were younger.
By the way, don’t think that you’re only one of a small handful of senior daters; the fact is there has been a massive increase in the amount of ’silver surfers’ looking for love online and the numbers are growing every single day. Chances are you’ll soon be back in the game of love before you know it.
Before we have a closer look at all the important aspects of Senior Dating that you’ll want to know about, let me give you a few initial tips that many folks have found helpful when they started dating again.
First of all, although you have all those years of life experience, it’s still important to stay in the present. When you’re on a date, try not to dwell on the past too much. Talk about current affairs, or something you’ve seen in the news recently that’s interested you. It’s a good idea to steer clear of controversial subjects such as politics or religion until you get to know each other better. Mention your hobbies and fun things you would like to do in the future and keep things light and cheerful.
If you complain about the ‘modern’ world and keep talking about the ‘good old days’, it could sound as if you’re living in the past. Of course it’s fine to talk about the past, but it’s important that you don’t give the impression you’d rather still be living there!
Your new companion may not yet be ready to hear all the ins and outs of your previous relationships or how you danced for joy when the divorce finally came through and you made a bonfire of all his or her old love letters!
If you have children or grandchildren, that’s great, but it’s not a good idea to bring your family album along with you and dwell on all the details. You’re no doubt bursting with pride over the school grades of your grandchildren; mention it in passing, but don’t spend the whole evening talking about it. Of course you have a wonderful life history to reveal, but it’s much better if you take it slowly and concentrate on the present.
While we’re on the subject of children, it’s important to be aware that your kids may have some concerns about you dating again. They may even think you’re being disloyal and it can be a very emotive issue for all concerned. They may have valid concerns for your well-being. For example, they may think that someone is after you for your money, or that you may be getting involved with someone who may become sick and burdensome.
While it is good to temper your excitement with some caution (maybe they have some good points to consider) at the end of the day you have a right to your own life and your own emotional happiness. It may be a bitter pill for them to swallow but as long as you still show as much interest in your children’s lives and keep them informed about your activities, they will come to see that the fact you’re dating again doesn’t change anything. Hopefully they will be pleased that you’re moving on with your life in such a positive way and they won’t worry about you or feel threatened by a new person in your life.
If you have health issues that may affect the way the relationship runs then be honest and up front about it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. None of us are superhuman, and as we age health can naturally deteriorate, but you should focus on all the positive things you still can do and don’t make that the focus of your conversation.
Your date will understand, and will probably have one or two pill bottles in the medicine cupboard themselves. Don’t be put off if your dream date has some health issues – live for the day and enjoy each moment of getting to know your new companion.
I recently met a senior dater who ended up marrying her internet pal. They had three wonderful years of marriage before he passed away. She said that if she had it to do it all over again with him, she would. Even though the outcome was not what she expected, the quality of the time they shared was stellar.
Keep in mind marriage is not what everyone is looking for. Many senior daters I meet would be quite happy to have someone to attend plays and restaurants with, and have companionship when they want it, but are satisfied to keep their lives just as they are.
Whatever your goal, Senior Dating can give you a whole new lease of life and put a spring back in your step; so it’s time to roll back the years and start feeling like a love-struck teenager all over again!