Making Contact with Someone Online

When you first join a senior dating service, you'll be keen to make contact with that special someone who you know is out there somewhere. But when you do take the plunge, how do you make contact with them and what mistakes should you avoid? Let's take a look at these a little closer.

After you have browsed the profiles and found a few that you like, there are several ways you can make contact with the people you have chosen. The most common way, initially, is by sending them an email.

Don't think that you have to send out only one email and wait for a response (which may not always be forthcoming) before moving on to the next one. Initially, you should try sending out about five or six emails to your senior dating contacts and keep a record of them for your future reference.

Remember it’s normal not to get replies to all your messages, so don't lose heart. The person that you contacted may have already met someone or maybe they're just too busy or have received too many emails!

Whatever the reason, not getting replies to some of your messages is just part of the process of finding someone right for you, so you shouldn't take it personally. Keep looking until you find someone who is right for you and who returns your interest in them.

In order to ensure that your initial email hits the spot and invites a response, keep it brief, keep it light and don't go into too much detail about yourself. This way, you are opening the door to invite the other person to want to find out more about you.

Try sending them a compliment or indicate a shared interest in one of their hobbies. You could always ask for their advice on a topic which they mentioned in their profile. Questions rather than statements are advisable, and try to end your email with an open ended question so they will be encouraged to write back and tell you more about themselves.

Be humorous and light hearted, but don't start laughing at their choice of photo or poking fun at the area they live in!

Drop little teasers into your emails that arouse curiosity, for example "I drove through my favorite district last week, and boy, it bought back such great memories." Never begin with an apology, stay positive.  Eventually, some replies will start arriving from your initial emails and this is where the fun begins!

Rather like being at an English tea party, there are certain rules of etiquette, or netiquette, as it's known in cyber speak! If you were sipping tea with England's aristocracy, would you walk away in mid conversation or bombard someone with repeated questions? Absolutely not. So on a senior dating site you should avoid controversial subjects like politics and always try to keep the conversation light and casual.

Be humorous and light hearted, but don't start laughing at their choice of photo or poking fun at the area they live in! Never use bad language and avoid making any radical or controversial statements.

Another very popular form of communication on senior dating sites is instant messaging, or IM's. You can send these to anyone that takes your fancy who happens to be online at the same time as yourself. The same rules of netiquette apply but they do differ in some ways to email.

With Instant Messaging, you are typing your messages and then sending them so they appear instantly on your contact's computer. Your friend can then "message" you back and you can continue your conversation in this way which is a lot more immediate than sending email.

Bear in mind that both emails and Instant Messaging lack the tones, inflections and facial expressions you use when speaking. So what you've typed with a knowing twinkle in your eye, or intended as ironic may not come across that way so you have to be a little careful!

Once you've joined a senior dating service, one of the first things you'll want to do is to search through the profiles of the other members to find the ones you'd like to contact. You may have an exact image in your mind's eye of what he or she should look like, so you can enter all the specifics, like height, eye color, age, and so on.

The search engine acts rather like someone on an assembly line, plucking out and discarding all the defective dates, just because their eyes are green and not brown or they're 5 years too old or too young.... and soon you'll be presented with a list of all the possible dates that match your criteria.

That's all very well, but try being more subjective in your searches, seeking out people with shared interests or qualities you find appealing in a partner. For example, try typing in keywords like spiritual, artistic, sporting, musical etc. You're gonna reap what you sow.