Scam artists are everywhere nowadays. And while everyone is at risk, seniors can be a major target. It seems that you only need to pick up the newspaper or watch the news to hear about the latest financial scam and it’s something that has become an unwelcome part of modern life.
So what does this have to do with a dating site you ask?
Unfortunately, the anonymity of the internet makes it a perfect place for con artists to hide their real intentions while trying to entrap their victims under the guise of romantic interest.
Don’t get me wrong, the vast majority of members of reputable dating sites (both paid and free) are legitimately looking for a sincere match, but there are red flags that you should look out for when embarking on the journey of online dating for the first time. By-the-way these rules apply to anyone of any age!
Red Flag #1
If someone is too interested – too quickly – in getting to know you beyond the safety of your computer, this could indicate a problem. If you have just met someone online and they are trying to encourage a meet-up before you really know them, they may not just be overly eager.
Let your relationship take a slow and steady natural course of events and let your gut decide when it is right to call them. I would suggest no less than a month of chatting online before calling them – but this should only happen when you feel totally comfortable doing so.
Remember that when you give out your number, unless it is an unlisted number, you are giving out your address as well. People can easily do a reverse look-up on a phone number and see where you live. Whether their purpose is dangerous or just desperate, you want to steer clear of both of these.
Red Flag #2
When you do finally decide to meet up, decide on a neutral and safe location (a restaurant or a café) and have a friend or family member bring you and let them meet your date. If you cannot arrange this, make sure you tell someone close to you about your plans. Include the name of the person you are meeting, where you are meeting them and when you expect to be home. Write down any personal information that you have on your date also – like an address or cell phone number, and the dating site you met them on – and give it to your friend or family member.
Then tell your date that you are doing this. Blame it on your overly protective friend or family if you feel awkward about it. If your date has any issue with this and gets angry or cancels your plans at the last minute then this is a huge indicator that they may not be legitimate. If they don’t respect your need to be cautious, then move on.
Red Flag #3
If anyone wants you to give them any personal information be extremely guarded. Never give out banking information, details of how much your stock portfolio is worth, or the value of your home. And NEVER give money if it is asked for – even if they seem like a genuine person. Scam artists are exceptionally good at seeming like really nice people who just happen to need a few hundred dollars for some emergency!
That’s all for now. Next week, I’ll talk about a few other things to be wary of, but the important thing to remember is that the overwhelming majority of people that you’ll encounter are there for the same reasons as you!
I recently dodged a scam from a man I hadn’t even met. Almost from the beginning, his emails were of the “you are my true love” type, which became a red flag later. He went to a foreign country for a huge building contract (I doubt it) and ran into difficulty with this underdeveloped nation’s government which demanded $3,800 or he would be shut down and could I please send him the money? My response was “I can’t imagine that you would be impressed with a woman who would send money to a man she has never met.” He didn’t contact me after that!
I recently got emailed from Latinopeoplemeet.com from a man who made me one of his favorites. Oh his pic was very nice, handsome and younger than me – what a boost for the ego. Anyway he mentioned he had a 10 yr old daughter, Jennifer, of course he was instantly in love with me and wanted to meet me, then all of a sufdden he had gotten a contract to go to Nigeria. That’s when I knew he was a scam artist. If they ever send you a so called copy of a contract or even better yet a check for an unbelievable amount they are a scam. Finally he asked for money and I told him I was going to report him to the site and the police. That was the end of him – I blocked him. Good luck wth dating, just be aware.
Sorry all, but I feel they are ALL SCAMS. Female and male alike on these things are out to steal your money not your heart. I have leaned to accept being alone and just worry about my cats and the next day. If it happens, it will happen. Save your money and what is left of your heart!
I have been getting and sending e-mails for over a month now to a man who claims hes in the Army in Afghanistan and he writes beautiful undying love letters we chat on facebook also on yahoo messenger . He is now telling me that he was given gold and money for helping out a Afghan communtiy for helping them get away from taliban, he says his friend in the Uk will get a hold of me I gave him my address he wants to send me this gold and money to safe keep for him but has never asked me for money? He always signs his name the same in his e-mails but today I received one from him signed a different name? Do you think this is a scam? I also had a guy a long time ago from in Nigerea who had a daugther he said was sick and needed money to get hom. I blocked him. But the one now never asks for money?
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. I don’t think every person looking for someone on the internet is out to steal from you.
However, I think an intelligent person needs to read between the lines of the other person’s profile to see if anything “throws up a red flag”.
This would include replies from someone with little info in their profile that says nothing specifically related to your profile. I also steer clear of folks that immediately want to go off the dating site to your personal email addy or phone number. Most often this is because they don’t want to pay for premium membership.
If a person claims multiple degrees and decent income but their profile/email is full of typos/misspellings or their speech on the phone is full of grammatical errors and mispronunciations…I doubt their educational/professional background is what they say it is.
In short…be very skeptical of whatever you read or hear until your receive proof that you can trust the person!
Rhonda, there are some red flags with this situation. The idea of having to keep money and gold safe for someone that you just met is a concern. Think about it – that is something you might only ask of someone that you have known and trusted for a long time, not someone halfway across the globe that you recently met online. Signing the email with a different name is concerning too. Keep your guard up, be cautious and trust your gut. If it feels wrong, it usually is.
Rhonda, your post screams of SCAM. Cut this guy off if you haven’t already done so. I am currently reading a novel, based on fact, about this kind of scam. Both the book and the scam are titled “419″. You can read about it on Wikipedia here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam.
Cut this guy – and anyone else like him – off and report him to the site and the police. I hope I don’t sound too histrionic when I tell you that, if you continue with this creep, incredible though it may sound, you are putting yourself in a position to lose EVERYTHING you own. If you doubt that, do some research on 419. You can start by watching a 20-minute movie here: http://www.419thenigerianscam.com/site/
And after you watch the movie, please forward the link to everyone on all your mailing lists. It just might save someone’s life’s savings. Education is the only protection we have against these people.
I hope this provides value to you and everyone else who reads it.
Found a pop up that said….would you like to marry a millionair..so i clicked on it…a couple days later..i got an email that said ..he was from england owned his own constrution business…he has two kids son and daughter ..three years ago his wife and daughte was killed in an auto accident..and now it is time for him to marry again…and he said the first respomnce to his email he would be beholden to and marry…his next email he said he was waiting to her from a bid on a contract in africa and new zealand for 13 million dollars….then he emailed me and said the bid was excepted for the job in africa and that he would transfer 380,000,00 us dollars to my account in my country…he gave me the phone number and address of the royal bank of scotland and the chief a9countants name and number and he gave me his account numberhe wrote me a letter to this bank and said copy this letter and email it to the bank..they will know who you are because :already wrote to the bank himself..i did this and got a resp+nce..the gental man said i wo_ee to give my a9ount number and and 5,600 dollars for transfer fee…he did give me his phone number and i did call h- but it was celphone to cell p:ne and the signal was terrible..he will call me…..i told him i would not give my account number or send cash..he said send w:at ever i had westetern union and he would get the rest…..my thingis its only been about ten email between us he still wants me tosend money..does nott matter how much..just send. His words are heartfelt and sweat an5 he sounds very itelligent am i being scammed or is this for real.. -