"Welcome to Senior Dating - the site I created to help Seniors
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reviews of the best senior dating sites as well as tips and advice to help you get the most from your dating experience and enhance your life!" Kathy Damer, Editor.

How to Know When You Are Being Scammed – Part One

Scam artists are everywhere nowadays. And while everyone is at risk, seniors can be a major target.  It seems that you only need to pick up the newspaper or watch the news to hear about the latest financial scam and it’s something that has become an unwelcome part of modern life.

Senior Woman on ComputerSo what does this have to do with a dating site you ask?

Unfortunately, the anonymity of the internet makes it a perfect place for con artists to hide their real intentions while trying to entrap their victims under the guise of romantic interest.

Don’t get me wrong, the vast majority of members of reputable dating sites (both paid and free) are legitimately looking for a sincere match, but there are red flags that you should look out for when embarking on the journey of online dating for the first time. By-the-way these rules apply to anyone of any age!

Red Flag #1

If someone is too interested – too quickly – in getting to know you beyond the safety of your computer, this could indicate a problem. If you have just met someone online and they are trying to encourage a meet-up before you really know them, they may not just be overly eager.

Let your relationship take a slow and steady natural course of events and let your gut decide when it is right to call them.  I would suggest no less than a month of chatting online before calling them – but this should only happen when you feel totally comfortable doing so.

Remember that when you give out your number, unless it is an unlisted number, you are giving out your address as well. People can easily do a reverse look-up on a phone number and see where you live. Whether their purpose is dangerous or just desperate, you want to steer clear of both of these.

Red Flag #2

When you do finally decide to meet up, decide on a neutral and safe location (a restaurant or a café) and have a friend or family member bring you and let them meet your date.  If you cannot arrange this, make sure you tell someone close to you about your plans. Include the name of the person you are meeting, where you are meeting them and when you expect to be home.  Write down any personal information that you have on your date also – like an address or cell phone number, and the dating site you met them on – and give it to your friend or family member.

Then tell your date that you are doing this.  Blame it on your overly protective friend or family if you feel awkward about it.  If your date has any issue with this and gets angry or cancels your plans at the last minute then this is a huge indicator that they may not be legitimate.  If they don’t respect your need to be cautious, then move on.

Red Flag #3

If anyone wants you to give them any personal information be extremely guarded. Never give out banking information, details of how much your stock portfolio is worth, or the value of your home.  And NEVER give money if it is asked for – even if they seem like a genuine person.  Scam artists are exceptionally good at seeming like really nice people who just happen to need a few hundred dollars for some emergency!

That’s all for now.  Next week, I’ll talk about a few other things to be wary of, but the important thing to remember is that the overwhelming majority of people that you’ll encounter are there for the same reasons as you!

52 Responses to “How to Know When You Are Being Scammed – Part One”

  1.  Jeanie Farish says:

    I recently dodged a scam from a man I hadn’t even met. Almost from the beginning, his emails were of the “you are my true love” type, which became a red flag later. He went to a foreign country for a huge building contract (I doubt it) and ran into difficulty with this underdeveloped nation’s government which demanded $3,800 or he would be shut down and could I please send him the money? My response was “I can’t imagine that you would be impressed with a woman who would send money to a man she has never met.” He didn’t contact me after that!

    Posted on 26-Jul-10 at 9:18 pm | Permalink
  2.  linda schafer says:

    I recently got emailed from Latinopeoplemeet.com from a man who made me one of his favorites. Oh his pic was very nice, handsome and younger than me – what a boost for the ego. Anyway he mentioned he had a 10 yr old daughter, Jennifer, of course he was instantly in love with me and wanted to meet me, then all of a sufdden he had gotten a contract to go to Nigeria. That’s when I knew he was a scam artist. If they ever send you a so called copy of a contract or even better yet a check for an unbelievable amount they are a scam. Finally he asked for money and I told him I was going to report him to the site and the police. That was the end of him – I blocked him. Good luck wth dating, just be aware.

    Posted on 23-Oct-10 at 12:09 pm | Permalink
  3.  Lee says:

    Sorry all, but I feel they are ALL SCAMS. Female and male alike on these things are out to steal your money not your heart. I have leaned to accept being alone and just worry about my cats and the next day. If it happens, it will happen. Save your money and what is left of your heart!

    Posted on 10-Sep-11 at 1:18 am | Permalink
  4.  Rhonda Starboard says:

    I have been getting and sending e-mails for over a month now to a man who claims hes in the Army in Afghanistan and he writes beautiful undying love letters we chat on facebook also on yahoo messenger . He is now telling me that he was given gold and money for helping out a Afghan communtiy for helping them get away from taliban, he says his friend in the Uk will get a hold of me I gave him my address he wants to send me this gold and money to safe keep for him but has never asked me for money? He always signs his name the same in his e-mails but today I received one from him signed a different name? Do you think this is a scam? I also had a guy a long time ago from in Nigerea who had a daugther he said was sick and needed money to get hom. I blocked him. But the one now never asks for money?

    Posted on 24-Aug-12 at 11:24 pm | Permalink
  5.  Fran says:

    If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. I don’t think every person looking for someone on the internet is out to steal from you.

    However, I think an intelligent person needs to read between the lines of the other person’s profile to see if anything “throws up a red flag”.

    This would include replies from someone with little info in their profile that says nothing specifically related to your profile. I also steer clear of folks that immediately want to go off the dating site to your personal email addy or phone number. Most often this is because they don’t want to pay for premium membership.

    If a person claims multiple degrees and decent income but their profile/email is full of typos/misspellings or their speech on the phone is full of grammatical errors and mispronunciations…I doubt their educational/professional background is what they say it is.

    In short…be very skeptical of whatever you read or hear until your receive proof that you can trust the person!

    Posted on 28-Aug-12 at 8:09 pm | Permalink
  6.  Kathy Damer says:

    Rhonda, there are some red flags with this situation. The idea of having to keep money and gold safe for someone that you just met is a concern. Think about it – that is something you might only ask of someone that you have known and trusted for a long time, not someone halfway across the globe that you recently met online. Signing the email with a different name is concerning too. Keep your guard up, be cautious and trust your gut. If it feels wrong, it usually is.

    Posted on 19-Nov-12 at 7:07 pm | Permalink
  7.  Elsa Ocanto says:

    I am in match.com unfortunately i was scamed for a person only for few days, I realized that something fishing because the way he wrote to me….I wrote to match.com and they never sent my any explication why this person was in their site, I am using match. for long 3 years and now I know that they protect more men than women, I am still with them because my suscription will be over next months.. I will like to check your site and get any idea how it works, and browers members..
    Thanks you

    Elsa Ocanto.

    Posted on 22-Dec-12 at 1:32 pm | Permalink
  8.  Thomas says:

    Rhonda, your post screams of SCAM. Cut this guy off if you haven’t already done so. I am currently reading a novel, based on fact, about this kind of scam. Both the book and the scam are titled “419”. You can read about it on Wikipedia here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigerian_scam.

    Cut this guy – and anyone else like him – off and report him to the site and the police. I hope I don’t sound too histrionic when I tell you that, if you continue with this creep, incredible though it may sound, you are putting yourself in a position to lose EVERYTHING you own. If you doubt that, do some research on 419. You can start by watching a 20-minute movie here: http://www.419thenigerianscam.com/site/

    And after you watch the movie, please forward the link to everyone on all your mailing lists. It just might save someone’s life’s savings. Education is the only protection we have against these people.

    I hope this provides value to you and everyone else who reads it.

    Posted on 30-Dec-12 at 10:40 am | Permalink
  9.  Michelle says:

    I agree I think They All scam. I met a guy online he fell in love very quickly he sent lovely emails, we spoke over the phone daily. One day I recieved a call from him he was having to go to malaysia there was a settlement from a deceased love one, but could not leave the country until the taxes were paid. Then he asked me for money to help out and he would give it back once he come to the states. Also, we were going to meet before he asked for money, but day he was to catch his flight he was held up at airport and his passport was taken. We still communicate daily by phone, but no more emails he claim he was put out of his hotel so he sleeps outside. The guy still ask for money, but I just ignore him or sometimes I tell him ok I will send it, but do not this been going on for three months now. A trip that was to only be for seven days has end up to be almost two months. When I ask about his job, home here in the states he sometimes get angry, snd he sometimes go from hot to cold in a matterer of hours. Example, we can laugh and talk on the phone very earlin the morning and by evening he seems to be very cold when we talk. During the cold times he says I do not love him, because I will not wire him the money. I guess we will eventually stop communicating one day I wonder which one of us will get tired and say good bye forever! But since I met another scammer online that had To fly to Turkey to work on a Project for his job, but I was able to stop him very quickly of course he loved & missed me after three dayof meeting online. I tuened The page on him I asked him to wire me money. Smile!! I have not heard from him since!
    My imput is turn the script talk their talk come up with your crisis first that need money. Also, tell them to send it western union money gram, or green dot prepaid visa or mastercard from CVS or Walgreen i am sure those stores or In their country I guess? They will not call you again.

    Posted on 03-Jan-13 at 5:41 am | Permalink
  10.  Email pen pals...one day this man sent me an e.ail ..who wants to marry a millionaire...so we started emailing each other..then he says his wife and daughter wre killed in a car accident three years ago and now he is ready to marry again..now he says he w says:

    Found a pop up that said….would you like to marry a millionair..so i clicked on it…a couple days later..i got an email that said ..he was from england owned his own constrution business…he has two kids son and daughter ..three years ago his wife and daughte was killed in an auto accident..and now it is time for him to marry again…and he said the first respomnce to his email he would be beholden to and marry…his next email he said he was waiting to her from a bid on a contract in africa and new zealand for 13 million dollars….then he emailed me and said the bid was excepted for the job in africa and that he would transfer 380,000,00 us dollars to my account in my country…he gave me the phone number and address of the royal bank of scotland and the chief a9countants name and number and he gave me his account numberhe wrote me a letter to this bank and said copy this letter and email it to the bank..they will know who you are because :already wrote to the bank himself..i did this and got a resp+nce..the gental man said i wo_ee to give my a9ount number and and 5,600 dollars for transfer fee…he did give me his phone number and i did call h- but it was celphone to cell p:ne and the signal was terrible..he will call me…..i told him i would not give my account number or send cash..he said send w:at ever i had westetern union and he would get the rest…..my thingis its only been about ten email between us he still wants me tosend money..does nott matter how much..just send. His words are heartfelt and sweat an5 he sounds very itelligent am i being scammed or is this for real.. –

    Posted on 12-Jan-13 at 11:19 pm | Permalink
  11.  ywilson says:

    I met this guy online and at first he lived in Chicago but then had to leave for Washington to bid on a contract job for cheveron. It’s has been almost a year that we have been chatting through yahoo messenger and I talked to him over the phone three times while he was in Washington. And while there he ran into problem with the contract, he was granted the contract but he didn’t pay his taxes so if he didn’t pay by a certain time they would give the contract to the next highest bidder so I did it. So he was suppose to come and meet me but all of a sudden he had to go to Lagos, Nigeria to get the job started. Then all of a sudden he needed money for something else. So now he was involved in a car accident trying to get to the airport and got hurt and they took his passport at the hospital because he couldn’t pay 3,000.00 and until he pay it he can’t get his passport to come home.

    Posted on 26-Jan-13 at 8:35 pm | Permalink
  12.  C Butcher says:

    My ex is currently being scammed by a pro. They met on line they went on 3 dates then he took her to the coast. She sent him a card telling him she loved him. I knew then something was up. She barely sees him as she lives out of town. She has gone a month with out being with him but calls him daily and texts him. He is paying her bills now after 4 months of dating. Has repaired her car and lent him his for 3 weeks. He has been in the hospital and had surgery but each time she has not been there. The only holiday she has been with him was on New Years Eve. She spends one to two nights with him a month and has to get drunk when she is with him (I’ve seen the empty bottles) He has only been to her house twice and has only met her son. She has a sight on facebook but does not claim she is in a relationship or even have a photo of them together. She would not even be with him on her birthday. How do I let him know what is going on and that he is not the only one.

    Posted on 27-Jan-13 at 12:04 pm | Permalink
  13.  renee cramer says:

    meant a guy on zoosk very good looking exchanges emails and phone calls said he was in the gemstone business,then get a call one day said he was in dubia and said he being held needed 3,000 told him i couldnt help him never heard from him again.same thing on another site this time a guy in the service exchange emails again this time his picture messages every thing dissappeared . someone decent comes along then you cant trust them it sucks

    Posted on 11-Feb-13 at 2:05 pm | Permalink
  14.  Bonnie says:

    A man on FB contacted me, wanted to be my “friend”. If I don’t know someone, I send him/her a message and find out about that person first especially if it’s a man because sometimes it’s a young single guy looking for a young single girl. I always let them know I am married and my age which this year I will be 65. This one man claimed to be 45 wrote me back and said he liked what I wrote and immediately started talking about loving me and calling me “babe” and his “angel” and I kept explaining that I was married and how old I was and I had health problems etc, etc. He said age was just a number. Well we just continued to “talk” and then we started “chatting” on yahoo IM. Then he told me he wasn’t happy, that the hotel manager was after him for money that he didn’t have. He said he was building contractor in Lagos, West Africa, buiiding a private school and the owner agreed to pay him 1/2 of the money and he had run out. He asked me to send him some money to cover the cost of the hotel $750. I told him I didn’t have that kind of money and I don’t. I was telling him the truth. My husband still works like a dog, we still have a house payment and my disability check only goes so far. He got very angry at first. He said any amount would do. First, there’s no way I could wire money to West Africa without my husband knowing – don’t think he would be to happy, so I told this young man a thing or two and told him not to contact me any longer if money was all he wanted. He cont

    Posted on 05-Jun-13 at 12:51 pm | Permalink
  15.  Bonnie says:

    I wasn’t finished with my story, he continued to contactn me and then told me that somebody was going to give him a check and would put it in my name and would I cash it for him. I said I would do what I could. He wanted my address and phone number. I gave him this since this was something he could pretty much get off of Facebook anyway. A week and a half as gone by, and early this morning after a week of vowing more of undying love and me falling for this and beginning to feel like a gitty teenager (an old fool) he tells me that the man can’t give him a check that he has a sick child in the hospital and can I give him some money when I get my disability check – $150. At first I told him, I would see what I could do after I paid some bills, but then he asked for names of some of my single friends. When I asked why he wanted to know he wouldn’t say, he just said I was his angel babe, he wanted to marry me etc, etc. He has said this building job is supposed to be done in August and he is coming back to the states. He claims to be from Albany, Ga. but wants to come here where I am so he can meet me. Being the old fool that I am, I was trying to figure out a way so we could meet but when he asked for names of single friends this morning it was as though God slapped me upside my head and told me to stop this foolishnish. So I have sent him a message and told him not to contact me any longer and I have explained why. If he continues what should I do? Should I just block him or should I call the FBI and alert them or just FaceBook or who? Thanks for any help.

    Posted on 05-Jun-13 at 1:05 pm | Permalink
  16.  Patricia says:

    I recently starting talking to someone through ourtime.com,we exchanged phone numbers and were texting back and forth. He then sent me a text through a different phone saying he had a business trip in Texas. We were texting for a few weeks and don’t know why but when he asked me for my address I gave it to him. DUMB. He said he wanted to send me something. Then the next day he asked me to pay his lawyer 600.00 to secure his transfer from the US to Canada. RED FLAG finally, I said no and let him know that my son who is a police officer was going to check it out. He stated good idea, go ahead and run a background check. Last time I heard from him. I just can’t believe I could be so stupid to fall for his lines of crap.

    Posted on 22-Jan-14 at 5:26 am | Permalink
  17.  Glenda says:

    I met a man on Ourtime.com who lives in Iowa. He contacted me. At first I wasn’t interested because he lived so far away, but he said if we became serious he would relocate. He was looking for someone to move in with and share half the expenses. He wanted to just be a boarder. He said he made reservations to fly where I live to meet me and I told him he had to stay in a hotel. He immediately cancelled his flight. He did that twice. He got mad and cancelled his flight. He never asked me for money but he was looking for a free ride. My grand daughter was getting married and he wanted to go to the wedding with me. I think he wanted to see what my family had, and if they had money. There was many red flags. Every time he was suppose to come and visit me, something always happened that he couldn’t come. He was looking for sex, because when I told him he couldn’t stay at my house, he got mad and made up excuses why he couldn’t come. And, some of the excuses were off the wall. I ended it with him when he said he wanted to go on a cruise with me and I had to pay half of everything. He didn’t ask me for money, but I think eventually he would have. Please be careful out there. There are all kinds of scammers.

    Posted on 09-Mar-14 at 11:16 am | Permalink
  18.  Kathy Damer says:

    Keep your radar on Ladies and Gentlemen! I love seeing the comments from those of you who spotted the fakes and nut jobs before getting taken advantage of. When this happens, you just have to move on and feel confident that you were astute enough to recognize the warning signs and end things without becoming a victim. Don’t let this kind of experience discourage you though because you can still have fun meeting people online. Try to remember that not everyone out there is a fraud.

    Posted on 20-Mar-14 at 11:17 am | Permalink
  19.  Mel Taylor says:

    I had been on Senior Dating Agency for a few weeks. Thing was I kept getting winks and profile views from members who were either inactive or had not used the site in months.I asked in my profile if anyone who contacted me would use my name Mel so that I knew they were a real person not a random, virtual one and lo and behold my account immediately deleted.

    Posted on 21-Mar-14 at 11:00 am | Permalink
  20.  kim says:

    I quit dating sites along time ago…. Its got to the point I could spot a scam the in the first conversation or by the way they wrote their profile….plus I had checked out a few different sites and many scammers are on the same sites and use photos they find from magazines…. First and foremost I found most of them want just a casual sexual relationship…. Second they want the perfect looking woman… Then you get the ones looking for money ….. Its ridiculous…. I would rather hang out with my friends and pets…. I will admit sometimes I wish I could find a site that could actually weed out all the garbage; but, that’s impossible….take care ladies and be safe!!!!

    Posted on 14-May-14 at 9:44 pm | Permalink
  21.  Renee corley says:

    I have gone through this on multiple Occassions- one was from a Pittsburgh local site so I cancelled the site the other was match. I’m realistic I am not a model and when I get pics of someone that is hot and likes me for me give me a break- the one couldn’t even send pics of the same person. All involved going out of the country and some terrible tragedy happened and they needed money to come back. My words of wisdom are follow your gut, never ever send money or give out personal info.. You should also use the white pages to see if the name they gave you is legit. I had 2 who were names of people that were dead and one didn’t even exist. One also went as far as to set up a Facebook page. Also a big red flag is the time that they email or text you it’s always the same time every day meaning like out of the country/ different time zone. Again go with your gut!! If you think you’re being scammed you are. Also what someone said- if they have gotten close to scamming you you will notice just as they go away someone “new” is interested and it’s them knowing your likes and each time they find out more about you. I’ve learned a lot today thank you. Also if you call them out and they can’t prove whatever and get angry it’s very telling.

    Posted on 15-Aug-14 at 11:37 am | Permalink
  22.  kelly says:

    hi i just want to know if im being scammed or not….i am reveiving mails from a man who said hes from london and he is a seaman.he always message me and sending me sweet messages and he already owned me as his wife.he ask for my address coz he will be sending me some stuff and funds.havent meet him yet on skype.i already told him that i want to meet him there but he had no time since he was always on board..do u think im being scammed???pls.reply to my email..tnx

    Posted on 20-Aug-14 at 7:12 am | Permalink
  23.  Nanette says:

    You know I have dated online since it first came out in the 90’s. But I think I’ve been fooled for the first time. We’ve only exchanged a couple emails. And thank goodness he only have two of my ‘junk’ email accounts and no real personal information other than my maiden name (not legal name) and where I work. So, I think I’m okay. This one was very good and had me fooled. I am in tech, so naturally I look everyone up. I also subscribe to one of those backgroud check services. I ran him and nothing came back. Of course, it’s a scam. Everyone has some kind of internet footprint by age 60. After my close call, I recommend subscribing to those. This is a real recommendation. I don’t work for the background check people. Google people. Be careful. and don’t give out any real information. If I can be fooled after 25 years of online dating and tech skills, anyone can.

    Posted on 30-Aug-14 at 7:13 am | Permalink
  24.  Patrick says:

    So sick and tired of the wasted time. In this world of technology i ask my scammers to take a photo of themselves with a mssge next to their head that says hello Patrick. Or a Skype account and video hook up to see them face to face. I find I’m not bothered after that. Most of the times they jack up and say ” dont you believe me?” I say no without a problem, inform the dating site and quickly watch them become inactive

    Posted on 24-Sep-14 at 4:31 am | Permalink
  25.  Wendy says:

    Hello my dad is 79 years old and some homeless woman that is staying with a neigbor is befriending him. Now she is asking to borrow money and seems to be zooming in on him. As his daughter I’m warning him to not get involved with street people – the lady is my age. Now he wants to bring her over to my house so I can meet her. I told him no and that he should dump her. I am convinced she is taking advantage and I am scared for him. Please help.

    Posted on 30-Oct-14 at 9:17 pm | Permalink
  26.  lori says:

    Ive been talking to someone online now since Oct 17 he claims he is in the service overseas. He writes the nicest things but almost always there is a gramatical error
    Also when we spoke of sending a package with some items i mentioned sears for an item to get. He thought sears was a mailing service. Also a picture of him supposidly showed a ring on his left hand ring finger. He said it was a joke n that his mom gave it to him. At first his profile said separated then divorced. I just don’t know what to think. Any suggestions???

    Posted on 02-Nov-14 at 10:53 pm | Permalink
  27.  Kathy Damer says:

    Hi Wendy. Its understandable that you’re concerned about your dad’s involvement with this woman. It’s tricky to know how to handle this situation though, because the last thing you want to do is create distance between you and your father by being too against a relationship that he seems to value. My suggestion is to sit him down and show him some of the articles on my site about possible scam artists. He needs to understand that it is ok to have a friendship with this person, but there are things that he absolutely must not do (give her money, offer her a place to stay, give her any financial information etc.). If he can abide by and remain firm on these things then she will hopefully disappear from his life if she is out to take advantage of him. I would be more concerned as to why she is homeless and what her history is. Is she running away from something or did she just fall on hard times as a result of a bad economy and bad luck. I know you don’t want to meet her, but doing so would be helpful on two levels. First you would be able to get a sense of what she is like (could she be legitimate or is she a big fake) and how far the relationship has already gone with your dad. Second by showing your dad a ‘willingness’ to meeting his friend (even if you don’t trust this woman as far as you could throw her), he will be far more likely to be open to your advice if you are showing him – in an open-minded way – that you want to know the people he associates with. Good luck!

    Posted on 19-Nov-14 at 7:45 pm | Permalink
  28.  Kathy Damer says:

    Hi Lori – I say go with your gut! Too many red flags. Take care.

    Posted on 19-Nov-14 at 7:47 pm | Permalink
  29.  Tammy Mathis says:

    Hi, thank you thank you for all your comments, this has helped me so much! I feel like such an idiot for being sucked in by a guy saying he was an Army soldier he is a widower, 2 children both parents dead and he is an only child so he needed me to hold a package for him until he could come get it, only I had to pay 2500. to customs when they would call me. He was always very polite and never said anything sexual said I was an angel, a light in his darkness of protecting our country form the Taliban, there is much more but you get the picture, what gets me the most is the callousness of these people to not only use people but to deface or Military

    Posted on 14-Dec-14 at 7:55 pm | Permalink
  30.  John says:

    I recently had a bad experience on a website.
    I received many profiles,some that really looked genuine.
    I decided to chat with a couple of them and duly had to pay to see their photos clearly.
    Sadly, no replies received, profiles have dried up, have asked for my money back but no one responds to my e-mails.
    I accused the last profiler of being a scammer.
    I received an e-mail within minutes barring any further contact with that person.
    I have now received 3 profiles within a few minutes of each other.
    These are profiles that I received months ago.
    I have asked each one to prove that they are genuine.
    Will I receive a reply? We will wait and see but I am not holding my breath.

    Posted on 16-Jan-15 at 7:07 pm | Permalink
  31.  Marlene says:

    I just went on a site called our time, which was supposed to be free but its not because you cannot get your messages without paying for it, but anyway as soon as I finished typing my last word and hit send i instantly got 15 hits at 2 p. In the afternoon. I found that to be very peculiar!! How could 15 people look
    at that profile that fast(a second).its a strange time 2 pm too. I know that all these guys were just random popups!!! But I read reviews and cannot stop automatic withdraws. Didn’t look like much of a selection either.

    Posted on 22-Jan-15 at 5:09 pm | Permalink
  32.  Imari says:

    I went on zoosk Internet site. Truthfully I like to read the Men’s profiles, they were very funny then I would come off this site. Anyway I got a message from a guy telling mean he was single never married no children and very attractive.he left me his number and asked me to text him sometimes. He said he lived in Ohio. Well after a week and a half he started telling me he know this is crazy but he’s in love with me. he said all the right words and all the things that I needed to hear. He claimed to be an electrician contractor that and he needed to leave and go to Florida for a job and will be there for three weeks.
    Well the second week he said he need a moneypak and he was going to western union me the money. Something happen and he thought I was going to get it for him. I laughed and told him that I was a single mom, barely making ends me. He continued to talk to me and one day I had a bad day at work, and I told him. He asked for my address. Well being gullible, I gave it to him and then became suspicious. It Dondonde me that I did not know his whole name. So when I asked him and he didn’t respond, I stopped responding to his text. After 10 texts went by with no response he call me. I told him my concerns he apologized and gave me a so caught name with family history and everything. We could tango to talk after that but then a week later he eczema address again. He said he was going to send me a check which I’m supposed to deposit into my account, and to Western Union him the money.
    Okay I don’t know what for he thought he was talking to because yes I sent him pictures of myself yes I gave him my address but it didn’t take long to realize this something wasn’t right and I was not cash and nobodies chick. So now I asked him what is your address since I gave you mine. He gave me an address which I instantly went to public records and all kind of search sites his name never came up couldn’t be found his address was to a house for sale. So yes I realize I made a mistake but the worst mistake is that me and him say intimate pictures of ourselves my problem with this is someone get pictures of me and I get pictures of somewhat which is probably 9 AM this will Lindow and I would like that person’s number. just kidding

    Posted on 22-Jan-15 at 10:18 pm | Permalink
  33.  Imari says:

    omg… I tried to talk text that and auto correct screwed r over… Lol

    Posted on 22-Jan-15 at 10:23 pm | Permalink
  34.  Imari says:

    Corrections: it dawn on me….
    We continued to talk after that but a week later, he told me that he sent me a check, and wanted me to deposit it in my account and then western union him some of the money.
    Also correcting last part,
    Me and him exchanged personal pictures ( 😣) the thing is, he now have pictures of me, and I have pictures of some guy that’s well endow and I don’t even have this mystery mans name… Lol.. Just kidding but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying & it’s so many of us saying “what the hell was I thinking, I should have none better “.

    Posted on 22-Jan-15 at 10:32 pm | Permalink
  35.  Pamela says says:

    I have been emailing one out of town man from a dating site for 2 weeks and since that the first email he has loved me, I am beautiful, we are meant to be together, writes poems sometimes 3 per day. I have try to turn the emails away from love and getting to know each other without success. Took himself off the dating site saying “I’m Getting Married.” To whom? Not me!! His father died and he is now in Nigeria for at least two weeks, since there writes 3 times before 7:00 a.m. No scam as yet, but I am on the alert. I know jumping in that fast – him to me is not natural. I will you know the outcome. Thank you for all your posts.

    Posted on 12-Mar-15 at 10:17 am | Permalink
  36.  Andrew Newson says:

    Andy says. I have been gmailing a girl who claims to be from hartford conneticut, but is in ghana looking after her sick granny, this girl has sent me photos some very private, claims her love for me, has asked for money for food and phonecredit, the latest one is she has asked for money to pay for medicine she needs for menstrual problems and it is a vast amount, have not and will not send this, have helped her out i feel she is genuine but few red flags, she also claims to have spent her travelling money to hospital bills for her gran and cannot afford to get back home to conneticut, she says she is mixed race ghanaian /american, dad american mother ghanian , she is also waiting on an attorney, awell respected one at that, whom i googled, sorting out a family gold heirloom , do you think this is a good scammer at work? Please help.

    Posted on 26-Mar-15 at 5:38 am | Permalink
  37.  Kris says:

    There is big problem with dating sites for they are interested in making money only. Many of them use deceptive tactics to attract people. I have been on many dating sites and found the same approach by those money makers dating sites. Match. com is no better. They have fake paid profiles as highlighted to deceive people. I suspect that they even post those by themselves. E-harmony is is not better for they do not want to remove spotted fake profiles for that is making their data base smaller. Lavalife.com is also full of fake profiles and finally I have cancelled my paid membership after 2 years for it is waste of money. Match.com has plenty of other sister sites which are the same and full of scam profiles, they are a PoepleMedia as company. I have tried even specialized presumably honest sites like Ascending Hearts, Spiritual Singles where there should be plenty of decent women and men, but it is not true. I had only few responses for over a years of being a member and met a woman who pretended to be spiritual but in reality was greedy and materialistic and when she learned that I am not rich enough the she broke up.
    In conclusion all of dating sites use deceptive approach and let those fake profiles to be posted and kept in data base for that makes them look big. If you want meet normal decent person then you may consider search on your own outside of internet and going either with dating companies where you will go for real date like Fast life or 25 Dates where they are trying to match you, but you must be also careful for even they are real you may meet some selfish and greedy person who looks only for money, but at least you may meet real people, then you are on your own. Other then that perhaps simple social events like some festivals ,fun parks, barbecue events, church charity sales, and yes, the old fashioned meet market. However if you choose pubs, taverns you may find only one night stand and if you are under influence of alcohol you may regret the next day that you were there.

    Posted on 10-May-15 at 10:39 am | Permalink
  38.  patty rose says:

    Right on the money! No joke.man was so charmjng from ireland
    ?.at least somewhere in uk, 5 mo imto our reLashionship, asked for moneyhe had so much gold he said, but could not acess it at the moment, you are my queen he said.I will love you so much.then he had to go to africa, and they would not let him leave with his gold package without paying taxes.so he was stuck and asked if I could give him 1500 dollars.dont you think you znould anticipate those things.I said you dont know how to take care of your finac
    Is.he got mad said I didnt care! By that time I didnt!

    Posted on 12-May-15 at 7:37 pm | Permalink
  39.  sara says:

    I’m just wondering if anyone has gotten scammed it is getting scammed on Facebook by a man in Switzerland but says he has lived in Atlanta Georgia… He has not asked for money so far

    Posted on 18-May-15 at 1:30 am | Permalink
  40.  Sandra says:

    I’m confused about this one. We met on an online hookup site – not one looking for a relationship. We were texting & he called a couple of times but didn’t meet. 2weeks in he asked for $100 – he was out of town on business & wallet got stolen – I did send it – thought if I lost $100 no big deal…he has paid it back. I have checked into him & he uses his real name & his pic matched who he is. He is not from out of town. We did meet a few days after I loaned him money. However, he asked for more money recently. I did not send it – but we continue our relationship. We have seen each other again. His reason for needing the money seems plausible but still????

    Posted on 18-May-15 at 10:59 pm | Permalink
  41.  Shirley Tucker says:

    I met a guy on OkCupid dating site. That was very charming. From chatting with him for the first time he told me he had found is sole mate, God had sent me to him and he already loves me and wanted me to marry him. He tells me he has a good job has a Operator Manager for a Liberty Shipping and Cargo Company and is out the country and will be home in 20 days to be with me for the rest of our life. His wife and child had died in a car accident 6 years go and ready for a relationship again. We message each other every day.He sends a long email every night telling me how much he loves me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He hasn’t ask for money yet but I feel like he is hiding something. Do you think he is real?

    Posted on 24-May-15 at 12:00 pm | Permalink
  42.  Val West says:

    I everyone. Just looking for confirmation that I have been scammed. I had a man FB friend me about 3 weeks ago. I didn’t tell him the truth about me as I don’t want to give any personal details out. But I did lie that I was not married. So now I have this supposed man after 4 messages, saying he loves me, wants to become religious, wants to marry me. His whole conversation evolves around how much he loves me, is very romantic, but for an accomplished office worker, his English is very bad. On his FB page he has about 137 friend ed ladies. He is supposedly from the UK but is on Contract in Iceland. I don’t know if he is just looking for love or is a scammer. What made me suspicious is that he said he had a contract in Uganda several years ago and he supports some Orphanage, then he is telling me I should send them some money. I blatantly said no. I said if anybody needed money it was me. Then he said I will look after you and send you money. ??????? Should I unfriend him

    Posted on 08-Jun-15 at 4:15 am | Permalink
  43.  Thomas says:

    I NEED ADVICE ABOUT MY CURRENT SITUTATION. Please help and thank you in advance.

    So I met a girl on a website her name is emily. She lived in the same area as me in TEXAS. I was unsure at first if she was real or not and she sended a picture of her with my name on it. So I thought okay she’s real. She said she was in the modeling business. A good friend of hers got her in the modeling agency her names Lily she’s a secretary for the modeling business. We talked for a bit got to know each other. She told her sister was the only family she had and was currently living in L.A. Her mom lived some place else. Any who We fell in love at first sight. And well I wanted to meet her . She told me the only way we could meet was if I booked her for 600 dollars because she said thats how agency works. I agreed and then her agency said that someone paid more to get her so I paid another 1,000 dollars to get her and she was mine. The only thing though emily told me she was offered a big job in the Philippines and had to go. Emily said she was only going to be there for 5 days and then be back with me so we could go on dates and be together. We always kept in contact through kik. I’ve noticed her texts were not properly written in english and I’ve asked about that. And emily told me her english was not good but it wasn’t bad. So when the 5 day came by she got a cab and was in such a rush she forgot her phone that had everything in it like her credit cards passport everything. She went back walking to the hotel and got a temporary phone from her friend Lily thought that phone only can receive and send text messages the mic doesn’t work and the camera lens is broken. The boss of the modeling agency paid for her flight ticket and wouldn’t pay for another flight ticket plus the agency was going to move to another part of the Philippines so emily would have to pay for her own rent and food. For a month and half I paid for her rent and food. She found work to make up for the times I couldn’t send money. She only made about 200 bucks every two weeks. Because she said the economy is so bad over there in the Philippines. And during that month I also asked if we could video chat on her friend Lily’s laptop. She told me we could but the laptop only has the camera to see but there is no mic. And when I questioned about the computers condition that the laptop should have a mic if the laptop has a camera lens. She got all mad about it. I brought it up a few times later in the days but we never video chatted. she got a friend that she works with to to take a picture of her with my name and her name on the paper and to send it to emily to send it to me because I thought she was scamming me.
    Later during the second half month i got her a new passport and a flight ticket to texas. The day came when she was suppose to go leave to go home. I texted her early since her flight was not in till 2 am. I never got a reply back in till midnight. Lily texted me on the phone emily was using to keep in touch with me on kik and told me emily changed flight tickets to go to L.A because her only sister was left in the streets. I asked if emily had left yet and lily told me she would go to the airport and check if she was still there. But I never got a reply in till two days later. And emily told me she was given back the phone from Lily but lily left to go back to the Philippines she only went to L.A to drop off the phone. So emily was out by herself she didn’t know anyone there. After two days she found her sister and called her mom to picked her up. And Lily found another job for emily in texas. Everything’s been paid for the food the hotel the flight ticket. So she said she needed to pack things up right now so she can catch her flight. I never got a respond if she made it to texas till like 2 days later. Saying that the plane was delayed because they were fixing the plane it had some technical problems and it’s going to take another day for it to be fixed. And she also told me her new contracter agency’s wouldn’t let use see each other because the rule is I would have to book her for 1.5 grand so no one else would book her and I can make installments and once i paid it i would get it back once i meet emily.

    So right now I don’t know what I should do. Is this a scam please I could use some advice please.

    Posted on 08-Jun-15 at 9:24 pm | Permalink
  44.  ester says:

    i met this man online a month ago, telling he was widow and six kids. we talk 2 times a day until i fell in love with him/ as we chatted daily he told me he will soon retired and had 4 million dollars in his account, that he will vist me in january and marry me. all the while i thought it was true. until finally hes asking me money and pay me until he get his retirement fee. anyone who ask money from anyone is a scamm. i hope eveyone must be aware of the man they are dating online. keep in mind that if anyone ask money from you, is a scammers.

    Posted on 23-Jun-15 at 5:30 pm | Permalink
  45.  Brenda says:

    I meet this guy on tagged right away he started saying he loved me even though I told him that takes time. Claims his wife cheated on him went to court found out the boy wasent his says she took everything. Next he was saying he was going to retire after this job in turkey says he needs me as next of kin to get his retirement I told him Id never heard of that before he said that’s how they do it in turkey said he’d send me a form for both of us to sign. Next thing I no he’s telling me he’s sick from hunger he has no money for food or flight home back to US I been very suspicious of this hearing about romance scams does this sound like a scammer oh yea and he says I don’t love him which I never said I did because I’ve been hesitate and doubting him kinda making me feal guilty please help

    Posted on 24-Jun-15 at 11:39 pm | Permalink
  46.  Maddie says:

    I’ve been out on several dates from my dating site and I will say that by far they are mostly just regular guys. I have interacted with some online that I could tell within two to three exchanges were scamming. I hate hearing so many folks declare they are all scamming because there are real people, a lot of real people, trying to make a connection. One thing that concerns me is the idea of talking to someone for a month or more before meeting. It seems to me that a lot of folks I know involved in a scam and those written about here were really long term, speaking to each other for months or years even before the ball drops. I have to say, when I talk to someone online and it seems to be going well, I ask to meet sooner rather than later because I can tell in two seconds from across the table whether we should talk more. I hate wasting a month online only to find out at the first real meeting that we’re a no go. When I meet them it’s soon but always in a public place during the day then I go from there. Money just plain should not come up. If my date alludes to money needs in any way I simpathize because we’ve all been there but, I politely make it clear that they will receive no actual resources from me. This has only happened a couple of times. I’ve been on a lot of first dates. I’ll go on many more. I find the biggest problem is that so many people lie to themselves about who they really are. I also find that there are a lot of interesting people in the world with unique stories. Be safe, be happy, and beware the long distance stuff.

    Posted on 12-Aug-15 at 11:35 pm | Permalink
  47.  J Coner says:

    Hi every one! I read your stories and it amazed me so much since i have lots things going on almost exact the same yours.
    I met this girl online( sr. I forgot hthe name of the site) and we been exchanged emails and pics. She is pretty and mature.
    At first, she told me that she lives in Butler and i prefered to fly there to visit since 2 weeks emailed ech other and i live in Houston. Something came up with an excuse: her sister in Malaysia got attacked and she had to fly there right the way to take care of her sis. One day, she called and told me that she had spent all her money for the surgery and nothing had left, she asked if i could help her with 2k. I was really shocked cuz people never ask for money for a very first met ( but we still never met up yet). I was hestitated and thought it must me something wrong tho..she kept asking me for help through the fone from Malaysia butbi always changed the topic and she got little upset. Whenever i call her from here, she always show me that she was crying because of the tragic from her sister, maybe she gonna die blabla. After couple days thinking and talking to her, i was convinced that i gotta help her. Then she told me go to Western Union to cash her 2k to the nurse who is taking care of her sister..wow, the dramma already started here. After i went to the WU at wallmart and give them the information of the nurse,they found out that the nurse name is not exsit and this is too risky to send the money to someone that i didnt even meet. This is kind of a fraud. Then i stopped. I called and let her know thand at i couldn’t and she started to be cold.ans when i told her i will send the money she was like..txt me everyday. Now i understand all kind of dramma she wants from me. I was fooled and blind of her beauty but luckily i read these stories and stopped on time. Thanks for sharing your stories :)

    Posted on 21-Aug-15 at 4:33 pm | Permalink
  48.  Charlotte says:

    I met a guy through Match.com who is on a job in Dubai. he didn’t tell me this until i was falling in love with him, and he assures me that he’ll be back by this Sunday or Monday and we will start dating. We have been texting recently, but were emailing for about 3 weeks. He called several times at first, but changed his phone # because i asked him was he a scam, and told him to quit calling & texting me if he was. He got very angry saying that i didn’t trust anything he had been telling me. I explained that i never want to be scammed, that i’ve had my share of scams, but not romantic ones. He begins sending poetic sayings & swears he is in love with me & i am his woman!

    Posted on 01-Sep-15 at 8:20 pm | Permalink
  49.  mjbrown says:

    Look if ya in doubt.STOP If its from Nigeria yes all in a scam! I do believe they teach classes on this ther. Must b a how to book to scam people! Always ther a son, daughter, or Sister! Either they want money or sex talk so stupid! Ther no real people online anymore, trust broke! Beware always!

    Posted on 03-Sep-15 at 3:49 pm | Permalink
  50.  Nancy says:

    I need to know if I’ve been scammed . I meet this man on christian mingles He said that is was working at a oil site in Nigeria.And his contract was about to be finished. Well it was complete. First he needed 230.00$ to get on boat or ship to come to states.Next once out to sea some pirates took over ship demanded money He as for 600.00 so I borrowed it to send. We kept vexing he’s telling me how much he loves me can’t wait to spend rest of his life with me. Now recently heask for 1,200.00 so he could get his pay out of the company. And as soon as he got my money he would get his pay. Come here stay at hotel we would start our life together. To pack be ready. I told him that money is my rent and they are asking for it. He said don’t worry all is well you will get it today. What do I do I want to believe him but I’m afraid now I’m in a big financial mess, if this is a scamm artist I’m desperate. I need help nancy

    Posted on 04-Sep-15 at 6:38 am | Permalink
  51.  Bushra says:

    Dear Ladies.

    I went on the Indian Matrimonial Site, Shadia.com and guess what meet with a man from Ecuador. We chatted on Viber, received calls from him. His profile said he was an engineer working in his own company and was traveling to Norway to get onto an oil rig. He had a daughter too whom he had sent to Ecuador to look after his ailing mother. He asked since he was on the rig and had no option of communicating if I could send $3000 to his daughter as his mother needed an urgent operation. He sounded desperate and genuine but my gut feeling, I didn’t send the money and have not heard from him since. Is it worth going on these dating sites?

    Posted on 07-Sep-15 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

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Kathy Damer is a University Graduate in Sociology and worked as Director of Marketing in the Retirement and Senior care industries for the past decade. Kathy has a deep understanding of the issues unique to senior dating and relationships and has been featured on the radio.

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