Dear Kathy, I have been out of a long term relationship for 5 months now.  I am a 58-year-old young at heart guy and in decent shape for an “old guy”.  I live in a small town and I’m embarrassed to post my picture on an online dating site. I have taken good care of myself over the years and feel that if someone in town sees my pic I would ruin my chances to meet someone offline.

How do I protect myself from the local town rumor mill?  I have a high profile in town and many people “know me”.  Perhaps I should just cast my will to the wind like I’ve done in the past and just wait for the “right” person to come along.  I’ve been an honest man most of my life and I know the internet is filled with many dishonest people.  What to do???  Richard. Read more…

Lucy wrote to me this week:

“Dear Kathy, I just started on eHarmony.  I met a gentleman and we proceeded to have a meeting over coffee which was for 2 hours.  We then went on a lunch date and again talked for 2 hours. Our third date was dinner…we had a lovely time.

I felt I was getting to know this man slowly, no “sparks” on my part.  But possibly potential….in 8 hours how do you really know someone?  Secondly, the next day he gave me a “dear john” email saying that we were not on the same paths.

I was totally shocked…is this the norm?  He also asked to kiss me at the end of our dinner date.  On the cheek was acceptable to me.  Am I too slow? Or is this the norm? I need to be enlightened.” Read more…

This week I received a letter from a reader, Jane, that touches on an important issue which affects the lives of a growing number of seniors.

Jane writes, “Dear Kathy, I am in a very difficult situation. My husband has had five strokes, beginning when he was 55 and we had only been married two years. I love my husband deeply and had intended to care for him at home until his passing.”

“I have been his caregiver for seven years. Since his last stroke, just over a year ago, he has been in a Skilled Nursing Facility. Doctors have been after me for several years to give in and turn his care over to the professionals at a SNF and I have resisted. I have now come to the point where I just can’t manage his care at home any longer.” Read more…

Recently I received this comment from Lee on my article “How to Know When You Are Being Scammed”: “I feel they are ALL SCAMS. Female and male alike on these things are out to steal your money not your heart. I have learned to accept being alone and just worry about my cats and the next day. If it happens, it will happen. Save your money and what is left of your heart!”

As humans we are generally not programmed to desire loneliness, but obviously Lee has had a bad experience with online dating to make a defeatist comment such as this. But something still managed to bring Lee to my site, so perhaps Lee isn’t in the final inning of the game of love just yet. Read more…

This was an email I recently received from a reader named Shirley:

“I am 72 years old, and have been on my own for five very lonely years since my husband died.  One day, after seeing all the commercials showing happy couples who found each other on online dating sites, I decided to take a look at what this was all about.”

“I met a few nice men (of the right age) but one in particular really is someone I could see myself starting a relationship with.  I am not looking to jump into anything serious like marriage, but I think it would be so nice to have someone to go out with.  I miss that companionship.  The problem is that my son and daughter are totally against it and I have purposely held off on meeting this man because of my kids.  He is very patient and understands, but I can’t expect him to wait forever for me to sort out these issues.  I know they are just being protective, but I am not a child.  What can I do?” Read more…

That was the interesting question that one of my readers asked me recently.  While society’s values have shifted significantly over the last 50 years, most of my senior daters were raised with the “old fashioned” ideals where the man was the bread winner and the woman stayed at home.

Time changed all of that however and women began seeking meaningful careers outside the home, out of a need for both personal growth and financial necessity.

So lets fast-forward about 40 years or so and look at the online dating scene as a senior nowadays. There are a lot of men whose former housewives are a sharp contrast to some of the independent, computer savvy career women who they will meet on senior dating sites.  Can they form meaningful relationships?  Well I believe they can as long as both parties keep some vital information in mind. Read more…

Believe it or not that is a direct quote from an email I just received.  And I say NONSENSE!  I believe that people can and should have fun at every age – I certainly plan to!

And while it is good to find enjoyment in solitude, I think most would agree that the best fun comes out of spending time with people, and casual dating can be a wonderful enhancement to your life.  No one says you have to go out and remarry or get serious with someone – it’s entirely up to you to set the parameters of what you really want. Read more…

You are probably wondering what this topic has to do with senior dating, right?

Well, now that summer is here (and a full-on heat wave is occurring in my little corner of the world) it’s crucial, whether you’re out on a date or just going about your normal business, that you’re properly prepared to deal with the heat and extreme sunshine. Read more…